Kelly McKay

I Must Have Suffered A Head Injury!

I am the queen of bizarre dreams, to the point where I even contacted a dream analyst and paid to have interpretation done, so I'm wondering if there's something wrong with me or if bizarre dreaming is normal for others. Maybe I have normal dreams but just don't care to remember them, I don't know.

One of my most memorable dreams involved me being fixated on a zit on my chin. In my dream I was looking in the mirror and poking and prodding this tumor zit I'd named Tina. Then, finally, I popped it and my face unraveled! 
 
The dream analyst woman said that I was considering change in my life but procrastinating.
 
Another dream involved nasty black, hairy spiders. In the dream I saw myself sleeping, and then watched myself wake up to a giant spider dangling from the ceiling right over my face. Then, as I opened my mouth to scream, a bunch of other spiders crawled out of my mouth and crawled up the bigger spider and back up to the ceiling. 
 
The dream analyst woman said that spiders signify change. Go figure.
 
I also have regular dreams that involve me saving someone's life- whether it be via CPR or by kicking some big creeper's butt to prevent him from hurting a friend or co-worker. I had chalked those dreams up to the fact that I'd actually rescued someone once and done CPR back when I was a lifeguard. And the other because I'd been attacked a couple of times over the years. (Radio can be a tough gig for a woman but we'll save those stories for another blog.)  

Guess what the dream analyst woman said. You guessed right. Change is a comin'!!!!
 
I love change. I thrive on change. And I constantly love doing new things, going to new places and meeting new people. So how much more change could I possibly handle? I just think I'm a little off in the head, and I think dream analysts are a bunch of phony money grubbers!

7 Proposals. 1 Yes.

I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that, every day, someone asks me if I've ever been married. When I say no their facial expressions lead me to believe they think I'm a freak of nature. Because of that I feel the need to add, "but I've been proposed to 7 times!"- which is also true.

7 proposals. 1 yes. 1 guy who came to his senses in time to prevent us both from making a mistake. Let me explain.

First of all, the proposals: (and the names will be changed to protect the innocent!)
 
#1: Enrique was the M.C. at a comedy club in Columbus, Ohio where I used to do a regular Friday night appearance for the radio station I worked for at the time. Although I knew Enrique for a year, he and I had only gone out on three dates when he popped the question. He even had a ring in hand when he dropped to his knee to profess his undying love. Seriously, I about fell over! I said thank you for his sweet sentiment but told him that three dates was no where near enough time to know whether or not you want to marry someone. (And, in case you're wondering, Enrique was born in the States so it wasn't a Green card Proposal.) After being rejected he locked himself in my bathroom and threatened to kill himself. Then my roommate had to talk him out. He quit the comedy club and I never saw him again.  
 
#2: Hank and I worked together at the same radio station that sent me to the comedy club where I met Enrique. Isn't that ironic? Hank worked weekends and I did the afternoon show. 
He and I were really good pals...until we got drunk one night and made out. After that I still wanted to be pals but he wanted something more. One night he showed up at my apartment with a bottle of champagne, some roses, and a ring. He told me that best friends make for great relationships- which I totally agree with if love is involved. When I told him I only loved him as a friend, he put his arm through a window and ended up in the E.R.
 
#3: I met Mason at another station in Columbus, Ohio. He was doing afternoons and I was doing the midday show. And I now know why you shouldn't date someone you work with! Mason was an older man and a smooth operator- and I totally fell for him. He was 41 and I was 21 so when I took him home to meet my mom I was surprised that Senior Citizen Sallie didn't have a heart attack when she found out they were the same age! Mason proposed to me at a Warren Zevon concert when he was totally trashed. Obviously I said no, especially considering the circumstances. Well, I think I actually said, "Get off your knee you fool. You're drunk, AND old enough to be my father!". Two weeks later Mason dumped me for the 18 year old intern. I was crushed. I didn't want to marry him but I really enjoyed being his girlfriend. 
 
#4: Next, there was Jim. Jim was a player I met at a bar and my roommate at the time, Susan, hated him from the start- and she had good reason. I was really into Jim and he wasn't into me. He would make plans and then cancel at the last minute, or he'd call me at 3 a.m. for you-know-what and I would run right over. After several months of this treatment, the magic had worn off. I was no longer really into Jim, but he was suddenly really into me. He'd want to make plans but I was busy. He'd call at a decent time but I wasn't interested. So the night he dropped by with a bottle of wine and a ring I was thrown for a loop. I simply said- "no thank you, and it was nice meeting you". And that was that.
 
#5: Then came Tim, and he was quite the character: the life of the party, and everyone's friend. He and I had met in college and had been kissing pals back in the day but it was totally casual. Then, 4 or 5 years later we reconnected at a friend's wedding and it was like fireworks. We started dating long distance for a year and then lived together in Florida for another 2. The proposal came two weeks into our relationship whenI was visiting him in Syracuse. On our way to dinner he told me to open the glove box. Guess what I found? That's right. An engagement ring! I looked at it....looked at him....looked at it....then put it back into the glove box and said, "I'm hungry". He had a really good sense of humor so he thought my reaction was funny. Any other man would have considered the rejection an ego slam and would have dumped me on the spot. We're still friends to this day and he's happily married with three beautiful children.
 
#6: I've blogged about my late friend Brian before. He and I worked together in Tampa in the early 90's and remained friends for years. We'd been close for over 10 years when he called one day to tell me he was in love with me and wanted to marry me. I told him that I needed to think about it because I hadn't thought of him in that way before, and that I would call him Monday so we could talk. Before I could pick up the phone to tell him that I wanted to fly out so we could try our hand at dating- he called to tell me that, because he was upset with my reaction, he'd gone to Vegas, got drunk, and then married some girl he met at the craps table. She got pregnant that weekend and they stayed together until the day he died- which was less than two years ago. 
 
#7: And, finally, the one I actually said yes to....Nick. Nick was a friend of a friend, which is the best way to meet someone- in my opinion. He was younger than me, and better looking than me, and the sweetest guy I've ever dated. He treated me like a queen. We started living together just a couple of months after our first date. A year later we bought a house together. Then a couple of years after that, we were sitting on the couch when he asked "want to go pick out a ring tomorrow?" Not the most romantic way to propose to someone but I'm a practical girl, and we'd already been together for three years so getting married was the logical next step. The ring was stunning, but the reality of our relationship was that we loved the idea of one another, and may have even loved each other, but we weren't in love. He woke up one day and said, "I don't want to be here anymore and I don't know why." I took a second and then replied, "Okay. Let me help you pack." Had Nick not taken the tough step, I would have gone through with the wedding and, I'm sure, we would have ended up divorced. 
 
So, thanks to Nick, I have never been married- and I'm okay with that.

The Courtesy Wave

I was driving home from work the other day and went out of my way to allow someone to get in front of me, and they didn't even bother with a courtesy wave. Disregard the fact that I had to reduce my speed of 65 to 55- to allow them easy access to the lane- even if I barely had to tap the brake, I deserved a courtesy wave as a thank you considering I put their needs before my own.

I think the courtesy wave is a fabulous thing. With one simple gesture you can let a total stranger know that you appreciate them. Even if it's dark out, if another driver has made my life easier by moving over a lane, or slowing down to allow me to easily merge onto the interstate, I'll turn on my interior light so they can see that I'm giving them a courtesy wave as a thank you. I enjoy being polite and just wish others would feel the same way.

Mom, a.k.a. Senior Citizen Sallie, raised me and my sisters to have impeccable manners. Mind you, if we didn't say please and thank you, or exhibit otherwise polite behavior, we'd get slapped upside the head with a flyswatter. Although I don't consider hitting your kids with a flyswatter that you've pinned to your sweatshirt to be polite behavior, I do admit that my mother raised us well so being polite comes second nature to us.

That being said, what kind of parenting did the non-courtesy wavers grow up with? Were they allowed to chew with their mouths open and then leave the dinner table without saying thank you? Could they burp and pass gas at will without saying excuse me? What was Christmas morning like for them? Were they allowed to just rip into their own presents and ignore what everyone else was getting from Santa? Who could live like that?

The other day when that woman in the Escalade didn't bother to thank me after I went out of my way to help her, I admit it, I was pissed. I uttered to myself that I'd never do that again but, truth be told, I will always go out of my way to watch out for others on the road because I'd want someone to do the same for me.

From now on if I help someone out and they don't offer up a courtesy wave in return- I'm not going to get angry- I'm going to feel sorry for them for having such a crappy upbringing. Not everyone has had a Senior Citizen Sallie in their lives!

My Homeowners Insurance Vent!

Homeowners Insurance is like a tampon. It would be risky to go without it...yet sometimes you have it and it fails you. That analogy came to me after dealing with several months of water damage in my home, combined with "insurance company hell". 
 
To fill you in on the drama....

I noticed a water spot in my bedroom ceiling after the April 9th hail storm. Considering I talk for a living, I immediately called my insurance company in hopes of finding the problem and fixing it before mold could form. If that happened, I told them, I could be out of work.
 
A month later an adjuster came to the house and told me that the problem wasn't storm related so they couldn't help me. (Did you notice that it took them a month to respond? Nice service!)
 
Meanwhile, I had three different roofers tell me that I had hail damage and needed a new roof. 
 
I battled with the "He Said, He Said" scenario for months and then decided I needed to throw in the towel and move on. It was obvious my insurance company was not going to help me with my water problem, and the stain was getting bigger and bigger every time it rained. 

So I approached a roofer who was across the road working on a neighbor's house one day and I asked him to take a look to see if he could figure out how water was getting into my bedroom. He said that wind had flipped up some shingles and he caulked them down for me thinking they were the source of the leak.

A few weeks went by and the water stain had remained the same size so I thought I was in the clear. (I started to get excited and even painted the ceiling with Kilz.)

Then it rained again. A lot.
 
On Friday September 22nd my ceiling started leaking before I left for my show that morning. By the time I got off air, the ceiling had split open and water was everywhere. Saturday when it rained again my ceiling collapsed to the floor. (Do you have any idea how heavy wet drywall is? Seriously heavy!)

After having a good cry and drinking some wine, I made some calls and finally found some people willing to help me.  

Big thanks to Terry Davis, from Davis Homes, for personally coming over to my house to problem solve. He figured out that the situation was created, in part, by debris from the April 9th hail storm. Now we wait for more rain to make sure the exterior situation is resolved before fixing the interior. (Lucky for me I have a guest room because I'm afraid a mouse would jump out of that gaping hole in my ceiling, land three feet over to my bed, and then nest in my hair at night!)

Also thank you to Ron from Dry Pro Systems for helping me head mold off at the pass! The wet drywall and insulation has been removed and everything looks good. I'm so relieved! He was such a nice guy that, the day I called, he came over at 7 at night to measure for moisture so he could make sure I wasn't in danger from mold. Who does that? Ron from Dry Pro, that's who!

Needless to say, if you ever have a problem in your home- consider the "tampon" a last resort.

Near Death Experience

I can't believe that I almost died while doing a simple household chore! Although I've always been clumsy, none of my previous "incidences" had me fearing for my life. If you think I'm exaggerating- read on!

After my show the other day I wanted to do a quick cleaning of my house before going to the Knight's game. So I used my Swiffer and managed to get through that unscathed. Then I cleaned the toilets, this time keeping my eyes closed while opening the bottle of Clorox Toilet Bowl Cleaner- as the last time I'd used it a bleach bubbled got into my eye and almost blinded me. Next on the to-do list, vacuuming....which I hate!

The larger rug in the living room got swept uneventfully. But then, when vacuuming the runner in the hall, I noticed the rug was a big askew. Being slightly O.C.D. I couldn't just leave it like that. So I squatted down, pushing the vacuum upright, and reached down to straighten the rug when, all of a sudden, the vacuum came crashing down into my head with the handle going right into my temple!

I have a sister who is a nurse so I know it doesn't take much for someone to end up in a vegetative state, or dead, because of a little bump to the head. And the full weight of the vacuum had just gone straight into the softest spot on my skull- so I swore I was a goner! I stood up, held onto the stairway banister and just waited to see if I would start feeling dizzy or nauseous. If so, my plan was to call 911 and hope for the best.

While waiting to see if my injuries were life threatening, I kept thinking that if I just keeled over and died on the floor it probably would take a day or two for anyone to find my body. And, by then, my sister's dogs would probably begin eating me- most likely starting with the inner thighs as that's where I have the most meat. Then, whoever found me would have a horrible mess to clean up. So it was ironic I was worried about a crooked rug.

Luckily the bump to my head did nothing more than cause a headache, and an even bigger hatred for vacuuming. From now on, I'll be wearing a helmet while cleaning my house!

Pet Owner Epiphany

I had to put my dog to sleep the day after Easter and, although I had her for 6 years, I now realize I've never owned a dog- but instead a 35 pound cat that liked to eat her own poop and go for an occasional walk.

When I adopted Spot she was already 10. Since she was a senior animal her hobbies included sleeping a lot, getting her belly rubbed, and going for a waddle around the block once or twice a day. She didn't play fetch or chew on anything, and she always slept through the night. Spot was such an awesome dog I kicked myself for not adopting one sooner.

Well, for the past month my sister's two, energetic dogs have been staying with me. KC- a two year old Black Lab, and Ginny- a six year old Golden Retriever. Thanks to my furry house guests, I now understand what dog owning is all about- and I don't like it!

Don't get me wrong, both dogs are amazingly sweet and funny. They crack me up daily and I cant resist hugging them and kissing their little faces. But, Ginny sheds like crazy and KC is a holy terror. They never let me sleep past 6 a.m., no matter what time I went to bed the night before, and my house is a disaster.

KC chewed up a chair in my front room and tore out hunks of the hand woven rug that I searched for months to find. She highly offended my cat Nala by eating all of her cat toys, which resulted in me being on poop-patrol for a while- in order to make sure she could still go- and Nala to constantly hiss and swat at KC anytime she walks by.

Did I mention the daily bouts of Chewbacca fighting? When KC and Ginny start dog wrestling, Ginny makes a terrible sound that's similar to everyone's favorite Star Wars character. It's incredibly loud and constant. Although funny once- two or three times a day gets a bit annoying. It's especially trying when you've got a cup of hot coffee in your hand and they're throwing their bodies into you while you're attempting to take a sip. Or, when you're on the phone and you can't hear above the Chewie noises.

To sum it up, I am counting the days until my sister's new house will be ready so I can go back to being a cat owner and a dog Auntie. I will love being able to visit with my nieces and then return to my peaceful, clean, and organized home.

I love dogs.....when they're someone else's.

Hi.....I'm Kelly....

.....and I haven't slept through a night since the Fall of 2010. Who knew that getting the right pillow was so crucial for a great night's rest? Well now I'm learning by doing and I'm starting to get frustrated by the experience.

I'm a back sleeper with an occasional side roll thrown in. With that in mind I did some internet research in order to buy the appropriate pillow. According to the info I found I needed to buy a big, fluffy pillow that would allow my head to sink in. So I bought a big, fluffy pillow yet still woke up every couple of hours because my neck was uncomfortable.

Next a tried a medium-firm pillow. No go. Then I spent BIG money on a Tempurpedic Comfort Pillow but find it to be way too firm- which causes me to constantly wake up in an attempt to get comfortable.

I went to my chiropractor today and told him that I'm about ready to hire some fat guy to lay at the end of my bed so I can snuggle into his belly flab. At this point, I really will do just about anything to sleep through the night.

Instead of looking for a guy with a squishy belly, I bought a chiroflow water based pillow. Listener Butch told me that he has one and loves it, so why not give it a try.

Please for the love of all that is good and holy.....let this pillow work!

Creepers At The Drug Store!

I go to the drug store down the road to print out pictures from my camera. Well the other day I stopped by to get some dog food and, as I was at the checkout, I noticed my picture hanging up on the side of their photo printer machine.

Mind you, it was a picture of me and my sister Kathryn with Daughtry, so I'm sure they wanted the photo because of the band. However, I didn't give it to them. They had to have noticed what I'd had printed on their machine, then decided to make a copy for themselves and hang it in the store. When I saw it I blurted out, "why do you have my picture hanging up?" The guy was a bit surprised and said he wasn't sure but then offered to take it down if it bothered me.

I thought about it and decided not to make a fuss because of what I do for a living. I'm a radio personality and there are pictures of me, with or without bands and listeners, available for download on the Link website and on Facebook. If I'm okay with people downloading and printing my personal/work photos there, why not at the drug store?

Still, my issue with what they did is this: What if a creeper employee saw a picture of a pretty 20-something being developed from someone's camera and wanted to make himself a personal copy to keep on his bedside table? See my point?

I know everyone loves Daughtry but they still should have asked if they could have a copy to keep and hang up in the store.

Creepy McCreeperton called and he wants his photo printer machine back!

The Guy

How Ironic!

I had just blogged about meeting someone I really liked and, two weeks later, he said he didn't want to see me anymore. Have you ever wondered how long your relationship would last if your better half could listen in on everything you talked about while you were at work?

Back to the drawing board!

The Last Four Months

Time flies when
you're having fun! Well, a little fun, a lot of work, holiday festivities
and holiday sadness, and then more fun! You know how life can
be.

 

We got a new boss at
the Link in November. His name is Kris. He's made some changes with
the music that I'm really enjoying. Speaking of, have you emailed me for
your Workday 3 Play? If not, what the heck?!!!! The Workday 3 Play
is your chance to pick the music on the Link. Have a ball with
it!

In December my co-worker's 19 year old son died
unexpectedly and then, one week later, one of my closest friends died of
cancer. Needless to say, the holidays were a mixed bag of joy and
pain. The joy came in being able to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day
with my sisters and their families. This is the first time, in my entire
radio career, that I've lived near family- and I'm loving every minute of
it!

 

January was a welcomed month as I decided to do my friend Claudia proud
by getting out and about more often and opening my mind to new
possibilities. She always lived life to the fullest and I needed to start
doing the same. So I took a leap and I said yes to a blind date in
mid-January. Although I'm not one for labels I will say that I'm enjoying
hanging out with him.

 

So, to sum it all
up, since my last blog I've been doing a lot of living. I've found a happy
balance of friends, family, work, fun....but there's always time for
Bingo! Anyone know of a great place to play. I do loves me some
senior citizens and troll doll stampers!